Zombie survival for n0obs

If you get stuck in a zombie epidemic:

  1. Get a weapon for close combat and a big gun or a more portable weapon or at least a makeshift one e.g. an aerosol + a lighter- voila, instant flamethrower.
  2. Get fit. No point in running if you’re a 35-stone slob.
  3. Zombies are dumb animals. They will never suspect a trap.
  4. Lights out. Zombies will be attracted by halogen.
  5. NO GAPING! Zombies may waste a little time and you must use these seconds to escape.
  6. Sleep safe. Fortify your sleeping place.
  7. No toys. This is a zombie apocalypse mate, luxuries can wait.
  8. Don’t hesitate. Have a weapon, have no conscience.
  9. Have backup. Stay near each other.
  10. Formulate a plan. Blind heroics will probably get you killed.

2 Responses to “Zombies”

  1. Helen Says:

    Vital information, thank you. Do you reckon King’s Lynn is safe?

  2. Casey Says:

    You forgot one step! You obviously have to raid the nearest supermarket for provisions!

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